‘Neither’

Context: Spartan reply to King Philip of Macedon (again)

Yep, after punting a bee’s nest and avoiding being stung once, King Philip decided to try his luck against the Spartans a second time, this time after coating himself in honey and bee pheromones.

When King Philip was expanding his empire across Greece, he sent a letter to the current Spartan king, asking if he wanted him to enter his lands as a friend or a foe. The only response Philip ever received was yet another single-word reply:

Neither

That’s so manly and badass we’re pretty sure if you printed off this article and poured boiling water over it, you’d have the base ingredient needed to make steroids.

via: toptenz.net

‘IF’

Language NSFW

Laconic humor was the term invented specifically to describe the dry, biting wit of the Spartan people. We personally think it’s a little unfair that pop culture has mainly portrayed the Spartans as a bunch of ass-kicking, throat-ripping slabs of beef. Though that description is entirely correct, it ignores the fact that the Spartan’s were also masters of verbal combat along with the regular, sweaty kind.