It must be awkward for newbies to throw a grenade; if not, these Soldiers need a lot more practice! 🇺🇸:)🇺🇸
#Stop22ADay
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Watch this 40 second YouTube video of a Marine marching a troop of ducks!
22 Ways to Be a Modern Military Man
NSFW
The modern military man has not changed very much since the dawn of warfare. Sure, we have the F-35, ICBMs, and Blue Force Trackers, but men who engage in land warfare are still classically trained warriors who merely use technology as an improvisational tool.
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Army Cancels Black Light Equipment Inspections
FORT DRUM, N.Y. — Senior leaders at the Pentagon have shelved a controversial new policy mandating 100% black light inspections during Central Issue Facility (CIF) turn-in. Public documents indicate that the testing led to the condemnation of the Fort Drum CIF for violation of the New York State Health Code 1.68, Section 5, as it “constituted a danger or nuisance, or was otherwise prejudicial to the public health.”
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ISIS Hit With Massive Wireless Bill After Sending ‘Message To America’
Duffel Blog
TIKRIT, Iraq — The Islamic State is rethinking its mobile carrier today, after sending a message to America that wound up costing it $73 million in overage charges on its wireless plan, Duffel Blog has learned. Read more
Military Drawing Up Plans For Nationwide Gun Confiscations
WASHINGTON, DC – A senior U.S. general has confirmed that the military has secretly drawn up plans to round up large numbers of privately-owned firearms from American gun owners. Read more
Platoon Sergeant Claims 38 Soldiers On His Tax Return
Duffel Blog
NSFW
FORT RILEY, Kan. — After 7 years of litigation and $75,000 in legal fees, Sgt. 1st Class James Kinchloe finally gets to claim his entire platoon on his tax return.
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Happy Easter!
Have a fun and safe Easter.
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Military Working Cat’ Project Derailed By Intriguing, Empty Box
Duffel Blog
NSFW
LACKLAND AFB, Texas –
An experimental program to train housecats for military working roles will be scrapped, defense officials have told Duffel Blog. The $93 million initiative, which sought to utilize the feline’s stealth, agility and nine lives in espionage and counterespionage operations, was ultimately derailed by an inconspicuous, yet utterly intriguing, empty cardboard box
“Training dogs, now that’s one thing. Cats are – well, cats are an entirely different animal,” admits lead handler, Master Sgt. Felicia Keys. “Dogs have discipline – you can teach a dog to ignore tennis balls, Frisbees, squeaky toys. A cat is going to do whatever the hell it wants.”
“Observe,” she says as she gestures to a video monitor showing a low-light training simulation from the adjacent room, where a military working cat (MWC) is being evaluated. The room has been outfitted to replicate an office filled with sensitive and classified materials posing a grave threat to national security.
Kitten First Class Nermal, a gray, mackerel tabby, has been assigned to stop a known hostile from stealing documents and embedding an improvised explosive device within a computer. Instead, Nermal can be seen batting a ball of yarn around for forty-five seconds before becoming bored and then discovering an unassuming but fascinating box. The infiltrator successfully plants the bomb and makes off with the data. A flashing red siren activates.
End scenario!” yells Keys, exasperatedly rubbing her temples, eyes furiously squeezed shut. Taking a deep breath, she flicks a switch and a bright, white light floods the simulation room. Nermal exchanges a contemptuous glare with the role player, Staff Sgt. Jonathan Arbuckle.
“Every. Single. Goddamn. Cat,” Keys murmurs, clicking through dozens of still captures featuring MWCs in the same box, all exhibiting the same, disdainful scowl.
Keys absentmindedly fast-forwards through footage of Sr. Kitten Chopsticks, a lanky Siamese, chasing a laser dot for eleven minutes while Arbuckle again successfully gathers intelligence. Chopsticks then defiantly knocks a ceramic mug off of a desk, tripping an alarm.
The lead handler buries her face into her arms on the desktop, muttering incomprehensibly.
“I should have just been a drill instructor,” she laments.
At press time, defense officials had abandoned a similar venture to utilize children in tactical applications when subjects repeatedly displayed a proclivity to turn cardboard boxes into fortresses or rocket ships.
Read more: Duffel Blog
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All characters, groups, and military units appearing in these works are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual military units and companies is purely coincidental.
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Halfway Heroes, ‘Near Veterans’ Seek Recognition For Almost Serving In Military
CHARLESTON, SC – Jody Siever spends his Friday nights like so many American servicemen and women, mingling while kicking back drinks at a local bar. Recognizing the giveaway military haircut of a fellow patron, he approaches with an arm extended. Read more
The Few, The Proud…
THE MARINES.
19 Terms Only Sailors Will Understand
All sailors from the “old salts” to the newly initiated are familiar with the following terms:
Chit: A chit in the Navy refers to any piece of paper from a form to a pass and even currency. According to the Navy history museum, the word chit was carried over from the days of Hindu traders when they used slips of paper called “citthi” for money. Read more
THE US ARMY and some well deserved ‘down-time’
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This is probably my favorite video of our guys utilizing some down-time; which they found themselves having a lot of. It’s good to see them smiling and “letting their hair down” for a while, they deserved it. Enjoy!
Department Of The Army Diagnosed With ADHD
NSFW
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of the Army has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ADHD after failing to find a mission it both likes and will stick with, doctors confirmed Tuesday.
After years of retooling because “counterinsurgency is all that matters,” the Army abruptly launched a recent plan for a “Pacific pivot,” much to the annoyance of the Department of the Navy. Read more
Good ‘ol Murphy
It’s also been said that no inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
😉
Maiden on the Midway 
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