The Top 10 best April Fools Jokes of all Time (Part II)


Happy April 1st!!
Happy April 1st!!
 This is the 2 part post. See the first top 5 here. 
April 1, 1977: The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian‘s phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Only a few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer’s terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that gripped the British tabloids in subsequent decades.

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A Transcending Moment


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Vietnam.

Our lives are made up of moments, and it’s in these moments that we find that our lives were lived.

I just love this picture and I hope this was one of those moments for these two,  one of normalcy; as fleeting as it may have been.

This is the only copy of this picture I’ve been able to find online. I hope the resolution is alright, I’m posting this from my phone so it’s hard to tell. Have a good night everyone. ☺

Combat is fast, unfair, cruel, and dirty.


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Combat is fast, unfair, cruel, and dirty. It is meant to be that way so that the terrible experience is branded into the memory of those who are fortunate enough to survive. It is up to those survivors to ensure that the experience is recorded and passed along to those who just might want to try it.

Bruce H. NortonForce Recon Diary, 1969: The Riveting, True-to-Life Account of Survival and Death in One of the Most Highly Skilled Units in Vietnam

Truth has a resonance to it that fills the cracks where falsehoods lie.

Rick DeStefanisThe Gomorrah Principle

Farther from Hope


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A file of soldiers on a routine jungle patrol. Most soldiers wore towels around their necks, like this one did, to help combat sweat in the jungle heat. Names, date, and location unknown.

Each day of war takes us farther from all we could hope to be or do. We gain nothing but heartbreak, and lose everything we cherish. Our lives erode and diminish, our children see no future except a calendar of anguish and death. Our only hope for tomorrow is for peace now.

Lloyd Alexander

Military Working Cat’ Project Derailed By Intriguing, Empty Box


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Duffel Blog
NSFW

LACKLAND AFB, Texas –
An experimental program to train housecats for military working roles will be scrapped, defense officials have told Duffel Blog. The $93 million initiative, which sought to utilize the feline’s stealth, agility and nine lives in espionage and counterespionage operations, was ultimately derailed by an inconspicuous, yet utterly intriguing, empty cardboard box

“Training dogs, now that’s one thing. Cats are – well, cats are an entirely different animal,” admits lead handler, Master Sgt. Felicia Keys. “Dogs have discipline – you can teach a dog to ignore tennis balls, Frisbees, squeaky toys. A cat is going to do whatever the hell it wants.”

“Observe,” she says as she gestures to a video monitor showing a low-light training simulation from the adjacent room, where a military working cat (MWC) is being evaluated. The room has been outfitted to replicate an office filled with sensitive and classified materials posing a grave threat to national security.

Kitten First Class Nermal, a gray, mackerel tabby, has been assigned to stop a known hostile from stealing documents and embedding an improvised explosive device within a computer. Instead, Nermal can be seen batting a ball of yarn around for forty-five seconds before becoming bored and then discovering an unassuming but fascinating box. The infiltrator successfully plants the bomb and makes off with the data. A flashing red siren activates.
End scenario!” yells Keys, exasperatedly rubbing her temples, eyes furiously squeezed shut. Taking a deep breath, she flicks a switch and a bright, white light floods the simulation room. Nermal exchanges a contemptuous glare with the role player, Staff Sgt. Jonathan Arbuckle.

“Every. Single. Goddamn. Cat,” Keys murmurs, clicking through dozens of still captures featuring MWCs in the same box, all exhibiting the same, disdainful scowl.

Keys absentmindedly fast-forwards through footage of Sr. Kitten Chopsticks, a lanky Siamese, chasing a laser dot for eleven minutes while Arbuckle again successfully gathers intelligence. Chopsticks then defiantly knocks a ceramic mug off of a desk, tripping an alarm.

The lead handler buries her face into her arms on the desktop, muttering incomprehensibly.

“I should have just been a drill instructor,” she laments.

At press time, defense officials had abandoned a similar venture to utilize children in tactical applications when subjects repeatedly displayed a proclivity to turn cardboard boxes into fortresses or rocket ships.

Read more: Duffel Blog

Legal
We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Everything on this website is satirical and the content of this site is a parody of a news organization. No composition should be regarded as truthful, and no reference of an individual, company, or military unit seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.

All characters, groups, and military units appearing in these works are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual military units and companies is purely coincidental.

Image of the Day: 31 March 2015


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US Marine, Vietnam War

29 Aug 1966, Da Nang, Vietnam — A marine runs for cover as snipers open fire.